Wednesday, January 9, 2013

One Breath at a Time

    My Father passed away yesterday afternoon. He had been ill for a while, and his health decreased rather rapidly. The last few days he had been comatose, he was at peace and as comfortable as we could make him. The wonderful people from Hospice came and helped comfort family and checked his vitals each day. I remember one of the days his pulse was challenging to find, but he gave indication that he was still with us with shallow rhythmic breathing. While his breathing did not appear painful to him, it was as though it took great effort for each and every breath.

     I've reflected on a lot in the past few days. Not only recalling memories of growing up and learning from him, but the life lessons that he was still teaching me with his frail and failing body. I used to hold a perspective when dealing with tasks that I felt were undesirable with a sense of I just need to get through the day/week/whatever duration was required to "get through". Days at my day job that were frustrating, I would tell myself -just "x" number of hours to go. I gained a perspective shift when I thought about my Dad hanging to his mortality one deliberate breath at a time. Each breath to him was a gift of time, short as it was. I realized how selfish or ungrateful I must be to feel burdened by enduring things that may be uncomfortable or inconvenient to me at that time. Do I believe that I can pull an 180 degree turn in a moment? Maybe. But more likely it will be a gradual and effort filled challenge to adjust my views and thoughts to look at the time granted to me as a gift. Perhaps more time beyond that to treat it as such.

     I've considered how I might really apply this observation in my life so that it becomes more of who I am instead of one of those things we see, admire, and set aside with the intention of doing something with it at some later time. I don't know that I have a solid answer yet, but I am making planning a more key element in the things I do. Living life one breath at a time, to me, suggests that we not become so set in our objectives that we miss the opportunities that come, or the lives that pass through our own journey. Not to say we toss goals out the window and live as though we are leaves in the wind. Rather, I would say we build our plans and our goals, but keep our eyes, ears & hearts open. Perhaps we will have the chance to learn from someone else's experience, or share with someone that needs our help. Live life a little more full by opening ourselves up a bit more.

     In regard to our development path, I can say that I have a goal and a plan, but I am learning to recognize the benefit of other directions. I have some ideas that I hope will excite you all to playing it when it is complete. I will make changes and adjustments and post progress here as they are available. I have been in contact with the other members of our development team, and we are excited for the direction that we are taking. And for all you that love to read Meg's posts, don't worry, she'll be back to posting on here in the coming weeks. Thank goodness for that. ;)

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